A Lesson of Intensity: Season of Desire Part 2 (Seasons Quartet) Read online

  A Lesson of Intensity

  Season of Desire: Part Two

  Sadie Matthews

  www.hodder.co.uk

  First published in Great Britain in 2013 by Hodder & Stoughton

  An Hachette UK company

  Copyright © Sadie Matthews 2013

  The right of Sadie Matthews to be identified as the Author

  of the Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the

  Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced,

  stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any

  means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be

  otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that

  in which it is published and without a similar condition being

  imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

  All characters in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance

  to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.

  A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

  ISBN 9781444781076

  Hodder & Stoughton Ltd

  338 Euston Road

  London NW1 3BH

  www.hodder.co.uk

  Contents

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Has Part Two left you wanting more?

  Also by Sadie Matthews

  About the author

  Have you read the After Dark series?

  Wish List

  Chapter Five

  We are possessed by our passion, kissing each other wildly, desperate to touch one another. I lift Miles’s jumper and he quickly shuffles it off. I help him unbutton his shirt, our fingers meeting in delightfully charged clashes as we fumble with the buttons, and then he pulls it hastily from his shoulders so that I can see the impressive sight of his naked chest. His upper torso is magnificent, tanned and bulging with muscles. I moan lightly at the sight, while he tugs at my top, lifting it up and yanking it over my head to reveal my white cotton bra. My nipples are already stiff and erect with the force of my need for him. I wriggle out from under him, get to my feet, undo my jeans and slide them off. I don’t want to waste too long in preliminaries – I want to get down to action and satisfy the longing that’s burning inside me. More than anything, I want to enjoy the promise of the erection I’ve felt pressed against me. Just in my underwear, I get back onto the bench, squeezing on beside him, and wrap my arms around his neck.

  ‘Let’s get going,’ I urge him, my eyes sparkling, and I start to kiss his lips while my hand goes to the fastening on his jeans. ‘Come on, I really need this.’

  A strange expression fills his eyes – a kind of doubt.

  ‘What is it?’ I ask impatiently. ‘Come on, Miles, let’s do it…!’ I go to kiss him again, but he frowns, turns his head to avoid me, and pulls away.

  ‘What is it?’ I say, panting. I reach for his arms, trying to turn him back to me, but the strength of his muscled body is far too much. I’m utterly ineffectual.

  ‘I don’t know if this is right,’ he mutters. ‘This is too fast. You’re in my care. I can’t… I can’t—’

  ‘Fuck me?’ I whisper. I’m throbbing with lust. I want to be dirty – think dirty, talk dirty, do dirty things and release the pent-up need inside me. I’m sure we both want it to happen…

  But my words don’t inflame him. If anything, they seem to create a chill in the atmosphere.

  ‘If you want to put it as crudely as that.’ He turns his face back to me and I can see that his eyes have lost that look of glassy desire that’s been turning me on so acutely.

  ‘Please?’ I say, my voice full of yearning. I’m staring at his mouth. How have I only just noticed how perfect it is? An exquisitely formed pair of lips that promises so much and, I know now, can deliver that promise. ‘Please, Miles, don’t stop.’

  He gazes downwards. ‘But if that’s what it is… if I’m simply fucking you… That’s all wrong, can’t you see that?’

  I let go of his arms and prop myself up on my elbows. I feel my inflamed passions begin to subside. He’s ruining this moment. I was so deeply into it, so desperate for him, so fired up that I knew whatever happened would be explosive for us both. How can he pull back now? My sex is practically whimpering with need and I shift a little with the insistent ache that’s still throbbing there.

  ‘What’s wrong with fucking?’ I ask. The force of my thwarted desire makes it come out more sharply than I meant it to.

  ‘You know what I’m talking about.’

  I shrug, trying to pretend insouciance, hoping that if I can convince him that there’s nothing to worry about, he’ll stop fretting and get back to what our bodies are begging of us. He can’t be immune to what’s just raged between us, can he? I know that I didn’t imagine that glorious steel-hard cock.

  The image makes a hot shiver course over me and my stomach does a huge flip.

  I groan inwardly. Oh my God. Stop it. I can’t stand it…

  ‘People fuck all the time,’ I say, trying to sound airy and sophisticated. ‘What’s the problem?’

  It’s true that in my world there’s a lot of casual sex. Something about money seems to make everyone who comes into contact with it incredibly horny. Perhaps it’s because when you have plenty of it, the only thing you need to think about is how to enjoy yourself. Money buys indulgences, like booze and drugs and hot nights by the sea in beautiful places. When you’re young, rich and carefree, the thrills of sex are sometimes the only real thrills left… I’ve known boys who’ve grown up with too much cash, who discover that dozens of girls want to sleep with them. Lots of those girls are on the make and the result is that the guys expect sex not too long after the first hello. The problem for me was that casual encounters just weren’t my scene. I hide it well, but I’m a romantic. I had my first experiences – the kissing and petting and explorations – with guys I really liked and who I hoped liked me in return. Some were jerks, and some were wonderful but I didn’t want my first real lover to be a one-night stand or just a casual fling. I needed to feel that I was in a couple situation before I had sex with someone. Feeling emotion for the other person, and feeling cherished by him, was everything for me. That’s why I waited until it was no-holds-barred love before I slept with Jacob, my first real boyfriend and only sexual partner. At least, that was what I thought it was.

  That’s what makes this situation with Miles so strange. I can’t explain this fierce desire I have for this man who is a virtual stranger to me. He doesn’t know that I’m not usually like this. He doesn’t know that he would only be my second lover.

  ‘What’s the problem?’ he echoes. He frowns, that crease appearing between his black brows. I’ve seen him frown a lot since yesterday.

  ‘Don’t you want to?’ I say almost helplessly. I’m bewildered. This man seemed to be possessed with desire for me, and now he’s put on the brakes and the whole thing has skidded to a halt. I don’t understand. I thought men were hungry, unstoppable beasts as far as sex was concerned. Jacob was like that: always eager for it, persistent, determined to slake his desires with me. If I kept up, well and good; if I didn’t, that was my problem. Is this man different?

  His lips tighten again in that way I’ve realised expresses his inner agitation. ‘Of course I want to – I think you can tell that, Freya.’

  God, I love the way he says my name.

&n
bsp; His Scottish accent seems to curl softly around it, giving it a beauty I’m not used to hearing. My father only uses my name when he’s angry, so it sounds like a swear word when he says it – I’m usually ‘honey’ or ‘sweetie’ to him. My American friend Lola gives it a tinny twang. My posh English friends leave half of it out so that it sounds like ‘Frere’. But Miles’s ‘r’ rolls slightly, lengthening it and making it almost poetic. For the first time I understand how it might be the name of a goddess.

  ‘Then why stop?’ I whisper huskily.

  He gets up and begins to stride around the small room as best he can, considering that one step takes him almost across it.

  ‘Christ!’ he says through clenched teeth. ‘You know why! I’m in a position of trust as far as your father is concerned. You might believe you want this, but think about how it would look to someone on the outside. A bodyguard in sole charge of a beautiful young girl ends up bedding her less than twenty-four hours after a distressing car accident in which she sustains serious bruises. It would look as though I’m taking advantage of you, at the very least.’ He stops and looks down at me with almost a pleading expression. ‘Can’t you see? I could lose my job and maybe my career if there’s any hint of me crossing the line.’

  I gaze back at him. ‘But I want you to! I’m the one who’s crossing the line.’ I sit up and then get to my feet. I’m wearing only my underwear and the heat of our exertions is wearing off. The chill in the hut is making my skin goosebump and my nipples stand up stiffly against my bra. I can see his eyes drop to my breasts but he looks away quickly. I glance down and see that yesterday’s bruise is still livid across my chest, a sharp diagonal that’s turning a bluish purple. I haven’t even felt it in the fervour of my desire but no doubt the sight of it has reminded Miles of my vulnerability and the fact that he’s charged with my wellbeing.

  I put one arm over the bruise to cover it, hoping he’ll forget it if it’s out of sight, and tip my head winsomely on one side. ‘Please, Miles…’ I say beseechingly.

  His voice when he speaks is cracked slightly as though he’s fighting some inner turmoil. ‘It makes no difference. It might be what you want but it’s up to me to hold back. No matter what you say, people will always assume I coerced you. Or they’ll think I should have refused. And they’d be right.’

  I stare at him, desire flowing over my skin again. He’s standing just a few feet away, his torso naked, and it’s all I can do to stop myself reaching out to touch him. That tanned skin looks warm and inviting and I can’t help admiring his well-muscled physique. He clearly keeps himself in peak condition – I suppose being fit and strong is a requirement of his job. I can see the bulge of his biceps, the definition of his pectoral muscles, and the ripple of hard abs down his belly. Muscle men have never turned me on – Jacob was slim and boyish – but the beautiful shape of Miles’s body and the strength it contains is making my throat go dry with longing. I notice the trail of dark hair emerging from his jeans and circling his belly button, and soft scatter over his chest and round the dark red bullets of his nipples, and I can’t help biting my lip. He’s so gorgeously male, so different to Jacob’s smooth skinniness, and my body thrills at the sight of him.

  He’ll show me a world I’ve never known.

  The words come unbidden into my mind and instantly I’m certain of it.

  But how am I going to break through his stubborn resistance?

  I’ve only ever really known one way to get what I want. I lift my chin haughtily and stare him straight in the eye.

  ‘I don’t care what people might think, especially if they’re wrong. I’m not a helpless child,’ I reply in lofty tones. ‘Anyway – I order you to do it.’

  He gazes back at me, disbelief growing in his eyes.

  ‘I’m your boss – we’ve established that. You’re supposed to do whatever I tell you. That’s what my father would expect. So I want you to…’ I falter just a little. ‘To…’

  ‘To what?’ Miles’s sardonic tone matches the expression in his cool blue eyes.

  ‘To…’ I want to command him to fuck me, but now that the heat has gone out of the moment, I can’t summon up the brazenness I need. To make love to me? No, that sounds too romantic, too emotional – it’ll scare him off even more… I rack my brains for the right words and then say firmly, ‘To pleasure me.’

  My words hang there in the chilly air for a moment. He registers them and then, to my horror, his expression changes to one of amusement, his lips curling up into a broad smile, showing his straight teeth, and then he laughs loudly.

  A blush of mortification spreads over me. My cheeks are burning and the heat of embarrassment crawls over my chest and arms. ‘What are you laughing at?’ I say frostily, trying to hide my discomfort.

  ‘I’ve had a lot of strange requests in my time,’ he says, still laughing. ‘But this is the first time one of my clients has asked that. And your turn of phrase is priceless. Pleasure me.’

  Humiliation stings me at the way he says it. I’m suddenly aware that I’m standing in front of him, practically naked, demanding that he have sex with me. Oh God, that’s what I should have said – just plain ‘have sex’. Too late now. I deal with the embarrassment in the only way I know: I toss my head and say imperiously, ‘I’m glad you’re so entertained by me but it makes no difference. I’ve told you what I want. Now do it.’

  He raises one dark eyebrow at me. God, I love it when he does that. It does very curious things to my insides. ‘I thought we were past this kind of behaviour, Freya.’

  ‘Well, we’re not.’ I gather my dignity as well as I can, standing there in my bra and knickers. ‘Nothing has really changed between us. I’m still your boss and you still have to do as I say.’

  As the words come out, I instantly regret them. Part of me wonders why I act like this but it’s so ingrained in me, I can’t seem to prevent myself using my status to control things and people, even if I know it doesn’t really get me what I want. The amusement fades from his eyes and his smile disappears. Now there’s something more like anger. Or is it disappointment? To my dismay, he reaches for his shirt and begins to put it on. ‘No, you’re right,’ he says tersely, buttoning it up in short, sharp movements. ‘Nothing has really changed, has it? I thought for a moment there that I’d misjudged you but maybe I was on the right track all along.’ He stops buttoning long enough to fix me with a stony look and says quietly, ‘Employing people is not the same as owning them, Freya. It seems to me that you don’t understand that. You are not some Roman empress surrounded by her obedient slaves, as much as you might like to think you are.’

  I lift my chin and my hands go to my hips. ‘Of course I don’t think that. I know the difference. I know how to be a good employer.’

  ‘Really?’ He goes back to his buttons.

  The way he says it provokes me. ‘What do you mean – really?’

  He shrugs. ‘Some of the staff at your mountain retreat might beg to differ. Not that you would care.’

  ‘What do you mean? Who would differ?’ I demand, outraged by the suggestion that anyone could be anything other than delighted to be working for the Hammond family.

  ‘I’m not going to name names, I don’t intend to get anyone into trouble. But if you think people don’t mind being treated like faceless, nameless servants, kept up late on a whim, sent on stupid errands that you’re too lazy to do yourself, or made to tidy up after you because you can’t be bothered to lift a finger yourself – well, you’d better think again, that’s all. People aren’t fools. They have thoughts and feelings and opinions, and they certainly have an opinion about you.’

  I draw in a shocked breath. I’m appalled and offended. ‘What rubbish! How dare you make such nasty accusations? Withdraw them right now!’

  He sighs. ‘Are you ever going to stop issuing your ridiculous commands? You’re a little nursery dictator, a spoiled child who only knows one way to get what she wants. Maybe if you opened your eyes, you’d see how
your behaviour affects other people.’

  This is too close to the bone for me. I snatch up my top and start putting it on, managing to get my arms twisted up in the sleeves in my fury. My desire for Miles is dampened down very effectively by his attitude. ‘I won’t listen to this. You just want to make me feel bad! I can’t believe I actually wanted you to sleep with me! I must be an idiot.’

  I wrestle myself into my top and emerge just in time to see that sardonic eyebrow shooting upwards again. A few minutes ago it made me shivery with lust. Now I’m infuriated by it.

  ‘Do I understand that her ladyship is rescinding her previous orders?’ he drawls, his Scottish accent lengthening every word and loading each one with something that seems to me like insolence. ‘Are my pleasuring services no longer required?’

  ‘Don’t talk to me like that!’ I stamp my foot angrily. I realise that I’ve been standing on the cold dirt floor for some time.

  Miles laughs again as he picks up his jumper and puts it on, sliding it over his head in one easy movement. Then he reaches for his jacket. ‘You know what? I feel like a fool. For a moment I thought I’d got you wrong. I thought something had changed between us. But you’ve made it very clear that’s not the case.’ As he puts his jacket on, he gives me a look that brings me up short suddenly: it’s full of a power I’ve never seen before and it almost makes me gasp. I feel a kind of fear shimmer through me, as though I’ve been playing with a tame tiger that has just turned round and shown me its bared teeth. The atmosphere becomes charged with something I can’t identify. It’s not fevered lust now but a sense that we’re preparing ourselves for combat and he’s letting me know that he’ll be a challenging adversary.

  He turns and goes to the door. As he reaches it, he turns again to face me and stands very still. Those bright blue eyes, hard as granite, are fixed on me again.